The Sour Apple is an establishment of like-minded individuals who want to uncover the truth and lies that celebrities saturate the media with. Its members subscribe to the notions of freedom, happiness, truth and to the abandonment and dissolve of organizations that go against it. We generally have a low tolerance for ignorance and idiocy that seems prevelant in Hollywood and the celebrity fandom in general. We are those who seek out information and use it to the best of our ability by taking a few celebrities, hog-tying them in humourous bondage, and assaulting them with our words and elitism.
We strive towards redemption through vindication of our enemies...er I mean celebrities. Oh, yeah baby. Our adherance to the aformentioned unifies us as a group of like-minded individuals who enjoy taking a couple of cameras and hurling them at Paris Hilton's face.
Membership is conditional -- conditional on the basis that if you are a fucker and are persistant upon being a fucker, your membership will be terminated and may result in a subsequent skullfucking. A good skullfucking by Roseanne or Rosie O'Donnell's 10 foot dildo. Yeah, they'll do it good...
1. All posts must be made public. Friends-only posts are pointless. If you are worried about friends seeing what you post in here, then, don't bother joining if you plan on posting. This is to retain the integrity of our community and maintain some cohesion within it.
2. Membership is moderated. Please allow for up to 12 hours for acceptance.
3. Keep discrimination at the door. I don't think I need to go into detail here.
4. There will be no advertising here at all. Advertising is the most asstacular, fucktarded thing you can do and it basically showcases that you don't know shit about community creation. Communities that last are ones that are told about via word of mouth. Slow and steady wins the race.
5. Harassing other members in this forum or elsewhere will lead to a BAN. Celebrities make millions of dollars a year and get free candy and teddy bears from the people who had yet to realize how vapid they are. The people who post here get nothing, and probably have syphilis. Keep that in mind when you decide who to insult.
6. Here at The Sour Apple, we realze that even men get PMS -- so the first time you are banned it is for 2 weeks. You will not be automatically unbanned after the two weeks up - you will have to send the mods a reminder that your 2 weeks are up and we will unban you. Hopefully, you will have learned your lesson -- because you only get one second chance.
7. Once you're banned the second time, you are banned FOREVER. You can email the mods at email@example.com to contest the ban and explain yourself. We will try to reply to all ban queries. We keep a list of not only the people banned, but also the IP addresses of banned users. If you come back again with a shiny new account, you will be banned yet again, and reported to LJ Abuse.
8. Put anything remotely SPOILERISH under a LJ cut clearly labeled SPOILER. Please be considerate to the people who let TV shows linger on their DVR for days until they get bored enough to watch them.
9. Commenting "This has gotten old." "This has already been posted." or "Who cares about Blankity Blank?" just makes you look like an ass and might lead to a ban.
Yes, we love NEWS, but we also love COMMENTARY. If you have something to say, please say it. Here are some kinds of posts that we like at The Sour Apple:
1. Blankity Blank is HOT
A post that features many pictures of a certain celebrity that you find hot. Include their best pictures, and offer captions/commentary if you're not too lazy.
2. Blankity Blank is NOT HOT
A post that features many pictures of a certain celebrity looking quite not hot. Do you think a celebrity is overrated and fug? Well then gather their worst pictures and showcase their ugliness for all to see.
3. Why is Blankity Blank Famous? Tara Reid, Nicky Hilton, Kimberly Stewart, they're famous. . .because? Pick a ridiculously overexposed "celebrity" and timeline the lowlights and highlights (or just more lowlights) of their career. These posts will be more interesting if you pick a truly D-list celebrity to feature. If you choose someone actually famous like Tom Cruise or Halle Berry - we might post it, but only so you can have a swarm of posters prove you wrong.
4. Fashion Mistakes
Let's keep this more interesting than two bitches showing up at the same event wearing the same dress. If you spot another Bjork Swaw Dress catastrophe, please post it for us all to see. If you want, document the latest/lamest trend like leggings, or Rachel Zoe - dig up the best bad pictures you can find.
5. Fantasy Casting
Why has there not been a movie made about O.J. Simpson/Charlie Sheen/Clay Aiken yet? Propose a cast list and plot. Extra points for picking uncanny resemblances and obscure events.
6. Plastic Surgery Theories
Who do you think put themselves on the chopping block? Provide before and after pictures and source the theory if it came from a site like Awful Plastic Surgery or Truth in Cosmetic Surgery Blog.
7. Other General Theories
No, not just "Kathy Bates is a Man" or "Kathy Griffin is the Devil" - look deeper into celebrity coincidences and patterns and propose a conspriracy so elaborate and ridiculous, Charlie Sheen will believe it. Provide photos and any half-assed evidence you can dig up. It doesn't have to be true, but it should be interesting.
8. Shows/Stars that Time Forgot.
Care like digging up pictures and facts about a TV show/movie/celebrity long forgotten? Go ahead, but make sure to provide plenty of nostagia to go with it, and pick something LONG FORGOTTEN.